Shameless Living: I Found Beauty In Admitting My Weakness

After graduating college, I decided it was time for me to lose a couple of pounds and start a new, healthy life as a young business professional! However, what started as a seemingly harmless desire to get healthy by watching my calorie intake soon turned into an addiction to weight loss, body image and years of an eating disorder. The “control” I thought I had acquired through counting every bite of food I took in and every minute I spent at the gym soon lead to severe anxiety and addiction. This battle ultimately took me down a long path of self-destruction, but it also lead to a spiritual awakening.

This battle ultimately took me down a long path of self-destruction, but it also lead to a spiritual awakening.

I spent three years meticulously counting out what I ate (if I even ate anything,) over exercising, shutting out my community, lying to my peers, hurting the ones around me, and living in pure denial of what was really happening to me. On Christmas while this was going on, I visited my grandmother and family in Wilmington, North Carolina. I went on a long beach run one morning and as soon as my feet hit the shore, I fell to my knees in tears, finally recognizing that I was destroying myself from the inside out.

Realizing something had to change, I made a leap of faith and decided to move from Dallas, Texas to Wilmington, North Carolina to start over!

By sharing our stories and admitting our weaknesses, we can overcome and become stronger together: both physically and spiritually!

After a long and drawn out process of admission, recovery, and transparency, I began to hear from other women and realized I wasn’t alone in my shameful feelings and negative actions towards my body. This sparked a passion and purpose to help other women who might be going through those same destructive experiences. Ironically, my vehicle for change was the same one which had originally started me down that path: fitness. Only this time, I was determined to redefine what it meant to live a truly healthy and full life. which is why sole fitness was born.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” -John 10:10

My dream is to speak life into and unify women through health, fitness, and shameless living. By sharing our stories and admitting our weaknesses, we can overcome and become stronger together: both physically and spiritually! I now aim to redefine fitness and health for women and erase the pressure associated with it. I want to bring joy back into movement.

These series of event in my life hurt and broke me down for so many years, but now I love that it can bring life to others, saving them from visiting the dark place I did. Know this: there is freedom from shame and perfection, we are not perfect and that is okay!

Want to see more of Kathryn? Follow her Instagram here and visit her website here.

About the author: Kathryn Benko

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